


Lockdown Shenanigans with Sabey-baby

by SlothSpaghetti



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Because that seems plausible to me, Bucky is a little shit, But its like arty and not like the others, Crack Fic, Daddy Kink, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Everyone Is Alive, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Its mostly just me going insane, London Location, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reader is a mutant, References to Sex, Superfamily, Superhusbands, Swearing, Texting, Twitter, and I also live here, lockdown - Freeform, quaratine fic, writing the fics I want to read
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:35:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25002499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlothSpaghetti/pseuds/SlothSpaghetti
Summary: You and Victor are experiencing the global pandemic together in London, while the rest of your superfamily scattered across the US. Shenanigans ensue.Mostly just a fun fic I started writing while reading fanfics on Instagram.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Loki, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Victor Creed/Original Female Character, Victor Creed/Reader
Comments: 14
Kudos: 39





	1. So It Begins

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the gifs or images used here.

**_Tuesday 10:00_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool

Do people still use this? Imma bring it back for Lockdown Shenanigans y’all 😜

|

 **My Spidey Senses!** @Spiderman

@ArtHistoryIsCool YAAASSSSSS BEEESSSHHH 

|

 **My Spidey Senses!** @Spiderman

@ArtHistoryIsCool We miss you!

|

 **It’s A Crack Fic ⚔️** @Deadpool

@ArtHistoryIsCool where the fuck have you been 

|

 **I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool

@Deadpool Broseph, you know I’m in London for my art residency

|

 **My Spidey Senses!** @Spiderman

@Deadpool @ArtHistoryIsCool babe, we even had a going away party for her.

|

 **Iron Dad** @TonyStark

How do you go from the most boring Avenger to a resident art expert?

|

 **I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool

@TonyStark that’s classified info daddio

**Steve Rogers-Stark** @CaptainAmerica

@Spiderman Watch your language young man. 

**_Tuesday 13:23_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool

*9 Months Ago*

Me: I’m going to London in 6 months for a year-long residency.

BF: You are not leaving for that long without me. 😾

*Lockdown Announced*

BF: It is your fault I’m stuck in this fucking shithole country.

Me:

|

 **My Spidey Senses!** @Spiderman

@ArtHistoryIsCool WUT??????????? BF?!?!?!?!?!?! I’M TELLING

|

 **It’s A Crack Fic ⚔️** @Deadpool

@ArtHistoryIsCool YoUnG lAdY, why have we not met this young man?

|

 **Iron Dad** @TonyStark

@ArtHistoryIsCool I’m offended I haven’t been introduced.

**Winter Is Coming** @BuckyBarnes

@TonyStark @ArtHistoryIsCool I’ve met him. He’s a beast.

|

 **I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool

@BuckBarnes @TheBlackWidow It's time to initiate Protocol Forever Summer.

|

 **Auntie Nat** @TheBlackWidow

@ArtHistoryIsCool @BuckBarnes He is already hiding, but I’ve got my metal detector ready.

**King of Jotunheim** @IAmLoki

@ArtHistoryIsCool Thor and I are in London as well. Would you like to come over for afternoon tea?

|

 **I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool

@IAmLoki sorry my dudes, the BF said and I quote “You aren’t fucking leaving the house you frail.” He is terrified I’ll catch the Rona. 

|

 **King of Jotunheim** @IAmLoki

@ArtHistoryIsCool we will come to you then. 

**Arrow Guy** @Hawkeye

@ArtHistoryIsCool wtf is a frail

|

 **I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool

@Hawkeye a non-superhuman being

|

 **Arrow Guy** @Hawkeye

@ArtHistoryIsCool but you’re a mutant 😳

|

 **I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool

@Hawkeye I can’t compete with those X-Geeks though

|

 **Auntie Nat** @TheBlackWidow

@ArtHistoryIsCool @Hawkeye never doubt your ability to kiss ass 💪

**Steve Rogers-Stark** @CaptainAmerica

@ArtHistoryIsCool Please be safe and don’t take unnecessary risks. 

|

 **Iron Dad** @TonyStark

@CaptainAmerica @ArtHistoryIsCool I second this.

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool

@IAmLoki I sent you a DM bb 😈

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I look up from my phone and see Victor staring at me. 

“I have twitter and eyes, little girl.” He growls.

“They are literally gods, Victor. They won’t give me Coronavirus.” I try to reason with him.

We’ve been in lockdown for a total of 7 days and he is already driving me to drink. Since the start of the year, and the start of media coverage on symptoms and death rates, Victor has been monitoring me for signs that I’ve got the virus. Suddenly, I have to use hand sanitizer despite wearing gloves for 85% of my working day. I also noticed the strong smell of cleaning products around the house nearly every evening when I got home. Now that we have been told by the government to stay home, I’ve basically become a prisoner in the house.

No sooner have I tried to reason with him, does the doorbell ring. I rush out of the living room and down the narrow hall to the front door. Loki stands on the stop step with Thor, smiling and carrying a bag of Pop-Tarts, behind him. I can feel the annoyance radiating from Victor behind me, but the two Asgardians don’t seem to give a shit. 

“Hey guys, come on in.” I say, stepping directly back into Victor. “Dude, move.”

“How did you get here?” He asks, refusing to budge. 

“We walked. We are staying in a flat 10 minutes away.” Loki sighs and gives me a look. 

I hear Victor grumble about washing their hands before he steps back enough to let them in.

“Your house is very nice, did your residency provide this?” Thor looks around at the gallery walls of art that cover nearly every surface of the narrow hallway and stairwell leading up to the second level. 

“Oh no, this is Victor’s house. He didn’t think I’d be safe at the provided accommodation because of my past and connections. The art however is mine.” I give the boys a wicked grin as I walk them past the living rooming, the small sunroom where Victor is now moping, and down the stairs to the kitchen and dining space. 

“Thor, why do we not have a house like this?” Loki demands, looking around.

“Because we are borrowing Selvig’s flat while he is with Jane.” 

Loki makes a harrumph sounding noise while I fill a tea strainer with loose leaf Darjeeling and put the kettle on. I take the Pop-Tarts Thor has brought and place on the counter. I bring out my favourite biscuits while the tea steeps.

“What is a… Wagon wheels?” Loki makes a face at the package.

“Fucking delicious is what they are,” I respond, pouring tea before adding a splash of milk into each mug. 

We chat for a few hours, enjoying the heat of the sun coming through the atrium where the dining table sits. Victor eventually comes down and asks if Thor and Loki will be staying for dinner. They take that as their cue to leave and I can’t help but laugh. It isn’t very often I get to see either of them a bit uneasy. Victor is nearly head taller than both of them and wider than Thor. I saw how Victor drummed his claws on the countertop while he waited for the brother to finish their tea. I give him a smile and squeeze his arm as I walk by him to escort the guests out. 

After dinner and a movie, we are heading up the mountain of stairs to our bed on the top floor. 

“Thank you for that,” I say between huffs of breath. 

“I’m just concerned for your safety. Beyond the art thing, you might as well be a frail. I’m not gonna lose you.” He growls from the bed.

I curl into his chest and sigh, enjoying the smell that is purely Victor. I fall asleep to him stroking the bite mark at the base of my neck. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Wednesday 08:00_ **

**Thor** ⚡ @GodOfThunder

It was great to see @ArtHistoryIsCool yesterday. Also Wagon Wheels are amazing!

|

 **King of Jotunheim** @IAmLoki

@GodOfThunder @ArtHistoryIsCool we also are now a part the BF club with @BuckyBarnes

|

 **I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool

@IAmLoki ‘s reaction to the BF threatening him 😹

**_Wednesday 12:00_ **

**Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

I was told even prisoners are allowed an hour of exercise a day. So we are now in a park. Fucking squirrels everywhere. 

|

 **I’m Candian** 🍁 @Wolverine

@FuckingSabreTooth You scared of some squirrels now Vic?

|

 **Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@Wolverine fuck off runt. 

|

 **It’s A Crack Fic ⚔️** @Deadpool

@FuckingSabreTooth who is this WE? I thought we were friends. Why are you keeping secrets from me Sabey?

**_Wednesday 12:45_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

Me beating all the people not following social distancing rules

|

 **My Spidey Senses!** @Spiderman

@ArtHistoryIsCool but if you are beating them, you aren’t social distancing.

|

 **Arrow Guy** @Hawkeye

@Spiderman @ArtHistoryIsCool you can’t fight that logic kid.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Thursday 09:00_ **

You have added…

_Bucking Broncos (Bucky Barnes)_

_Lo-key Frost Boy (Loki)_

_Thor Oakenhammer (Thor)_

_Auntie Nat (Natasha)_

To “Now You Know”

**You-** This mostly just so you can vent your feelings about Victor and/or ask me questions. Please do not go blasting this info out to everyone. 

**Bucking Broncos-** Fucking finally I’m not alone. 

**Auntie Nat-** Buck can share what happens if you open your big mouth.

 **Bucking Broncos-** Give me back arm Nat!

 **You-** 😹😹😹

 **Lo-key Frost Boy-** Where do you even find a man that big on Midgard?

 **You-** You steal art from his private collection and then he tracks you down. 

**Lo-key Frost Boy-** Excuse me. STEAL?!

 **You-** How do you think I got all that art at the house? 

**Auntie Nat-** I’m so glad to learn you used the skills I’ve taught you for good. 🙃🙃🙃 

**Bucking Broncos-** LOL Steve is gonna cry when I tell him his precious angel is a cat burglar.

 **You-** Was. I haven’t stolen anything since I met Victor. 

**Lo-key Frost Boy-** That house has more art than a fucking museum, how long have you been doing that for?

 **You** \- since like I noticed my powers

 **Bucking Broncos-** SINCE YOU WERE 10

 **You-** yes, Buck. 

**Bucking Broncos-** I have so many questions.

 **Thor Oakenhammer-** Well Daughter of Iron, he seems like an excellent match. 

**You-** Thanks Thor! 

**Thor Oakenhammer-** Next time we are over, I would like to discuss your art more. I want to see how your powers work.

 **You-** Will have to be next time he is on a job I think. He’s very paranoid I’ll catch the Rona. 

**Lo-Key Frost Boy-** Seriously, what’s his deal? He isn’t an Avenger and I thought you only hung out with goodies?

 **You-** just google Sabretooth 


	2. The Big Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kinda long.

**_Thursday 15:15_ **

You have been added to “Super Family” by Dad

**You-** Finally you acknowledge my lineage dad.

**Dad-** You're adopted.

**Pops-** Tone, be nice she is our good child.

**PeteyPie-** Dearest sister, please send me a care package with British Stuff™ 

**PeteyPie-** Why am I not enough for you Pops 😭

**Dad-** Pete, I know you have class right now. Stop texting. 

**PeteyPie-**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thursday Night ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hear Victor’s phone start to go off on the nightstand and quickly grab it. 

_ ~Incoming Call from RUNTARD~ _

“Victor, your brother is calling, do you want me to answer?” I ask, walking into the en-suite. 

“Yeah, can you take it in here though so I can hear him?” He asks, soaping up his thick, dark hair. I put the phone on speakerphone.

“Hello, you’ve reached the phone of Victor Creed. How may I help you?” I put on my customer service voice.

“Um. Who are you?” Logan sounds taken aback.

“What do you want Wolverine? Do you know what time it is here?” I close the lid of the toilet and sit down. 

“Is Victor with you?” I look up at Victor and he just shrugs. “Can I hear a shower?”

“Maybe, maybe not. Why do you want to talk to Victor, Logan?” I ask again.

“I need his help with a job in Scotland. Deadpool will be coming along as well.” He growls into the phone

“What kinda job?” I ask.

“Just need to track down an old army friend of ours.”

I hear Victor groan and look at him leaning out of the shower.

“What time do we leave Runt?” He growls.

“We are on our way now, we’ll meet you in Glasgow tomorrow afternoon.” He hangs up the phone without even a goodbye. 

“Is he always so nice?” I ask, staring at Victor as he showers.

“I imagine Wade is talking his ear off about some shit.” Victor chuckles and rinses the last of the soap off of his body. 

“Here,” I hand him a dry towel from the rack. “How long do you think you’ll be gone?”

“Probably only a couple of days, baby girl. Don’t worry.”

“Well, then I guess I’ve got my work cut for me tonight,” I smirk up at him and drop my robe on the floor.

“Fuck me,” He grins.

“That’s the plan big boy.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Friday 13:06_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

If you want anything in the Avengers Care Package™ speak now or forever hold your peace

|

**Winter Is Coming** @BuckyBarnes

@ArtHistoryIsCool have you been let off for good behavior?

|

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

@BuckyBarnes It's hard to call it a jailbreak when the warden’s on a job. 

|

**Winter Is Coming** @BuckyBarnes

@ArtHistoryIsCool I crave them shortbread biscuits. 

|

**Auntie Nat** @TheBlackWidow

@ArtHistoryIsCool You know what I like Дочь*

|

**Arrow Guy** @Hawkeye

@ArtHistoryIsCool I need to try these Wagon Wheels

|

**Science Is Cool** @DrBruceBanner

@ArtHistoryIsCool Thank you! I would like some loose leaf tea if possible.

|

**My Spidey Senses!** @Spiderman

@ArtHistoryIsCool Percy Pigs and Candy Kittens!

|

**Iron Dad** @TonyStark

@ArtHistoryIsCool This is why you are the only good kid we have

|

**Steve Rogers-Stark** @CaptainAmerica

@ArtHistoryIsCool We appreciate anything you want to send us honey. We miss you. ❤️

**_Friday 15:02_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

I hate the post office. You better appreciate my love. 

**_Friday 15:46_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

£100 later, it’s time to get wine drunk. 🍷🍷🍷

|

**Steve Rogers-Stark** @CaptainAmerica

@ArtHistoryIsCool Young lady, you are 20 years old. 

|

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

@CaptainAmerica the drinking age is 18 here. Heck off pops.

|

**My Spidey Senses!** @Spiderman

@ArtHistoryIsCool @Captain America 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Friday Evening ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I rush home after the dreadfulness of the post office. I have every intention of taking a long bath and drinking a bottle of wine. When I turn the corner to our house, a man dressed in a suit standing on the doorstep with a large package in hand. Before anything else, I release the knife from the secret key chain on my lanyard. Victor and Auntie Nat would be proud of me, I think.

“Can I help you?” I ask.

“I’ve got a package for a Miss Rogers-Stark?”

“Yeah, that’s me, just put it down on the stoop and I’ll pick it up.”

“I’m supposed to get your signature.”

“Too bad buddy, move on.” I try to imitate Victor’s growl. That always works at scaring people off. 

“Whatever.” He sighs and signs the tablet he is holding.

I wait for the man to be in his delivery van before I take the package inside and promptly bolt the door behind me. I look down at the package, the return address says Stark Industries.

_ “We are doing a family quiz Sunday night at 8 pm EST. If you don’t join you will be written out the will.  _

_ Love,  _

_ Your Favorite Dad” _

In the box are a wireless router, laptop, and Tupperware container containing Pops homemade cinnamon rolls. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Friday 19:56_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

#TreatYoSelf

|

**Arrow Guy** @Hawkeye

@ArtHistoryIsCool You are definitely a Stark.

|

**Iron Dad** @TonyStark

@Hawkeye @ArtHistoryIsCool

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Friday 20:48_ **

Text to “Super Family”

**You-** Really miss you guys, can’t wait for the quiz

**Pops-** I have spent more time than I’d like to admit putting this thing together.

**Dad-** Glad to see you got the package, whose house are you staying at? Jarvis couldn't find out who owns it.

**PeteyPie-** I’m gonna wipe the floor with you

**You-** Pops those cinnamon rolls were a great dinner btw 

**You-** I’m staying with my boyfriend Dad

**Dad-** We expect introductions before the quiz starts young lady. 

**You-** Weeeeeee’lllllllll seeeeeeeeeee

**Pops-** Just please use protection.

**Dad-** ugh gross, someone give me a lobotomy.

**PeteyPie-** yeah right after I give myself one. 

**Pops-** I’m not ready to be a grandpa.

**You-** But you're old enough to be one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Friday 21:36_ **

Text from “Now You Know”

**Lo-key Frost Boy-** I have a new respect for your bravery

**Thor Oakenhammer-** My brother is correct, how are you alive?

**Bucking Broncos-** Even I wouldn’t fuck with Logan’s brother

**You-** Let’s just say I am the perfect mix of the Rogers-Stark genetics

**Bucking Broncos-** you were adopted.

**You-** I’m returning the magnets I bought for you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Friday 23:12_ **

**Big Daddy-** Hey baby girl, job’s taking longer than expected. Will be home late Sunday.

**You-** Voice Note

{Sooooo’kay daddy, I miss youuuu… shit almost lost my phone to the bath.}

**Big Daddy-** Stop drinking in the bath you frail.

**You-** 💗 💓 💕 💖 💛 💙 💜 💚

**You-** I’m stealing this

[Image attached- Picture of you drowning in a worn-out shirt, holding up a peace sign]

**Big Daddy-** Make sure the doors are locked, then get some sleep baby girl.

**You-** Love you Victor 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Saturday 11:11_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool

Eating all of the @CaptainAmerica official cinnamon rolls before the BF gets back cause imma greedy hungover ho. 

|

**Steve Rogers-Stark** @CaptainAmerica

@ArtHistoryIsCool language.

|

**Steve Rogers-Stark** @CaptainAmerica

@ArtHistoryIsCool but I am happy you are enjoying them ❤️

|

**Thor** ⚡ @GodOfThunder

@ArtHistoryIsCool We are coming over now. Don’t deprive us of warm America pastry.

|

**King of Jotunheim** @IAmLoki

@ArtHistoryIsCool I will go all Jotun on your ass.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Saturday Brunch~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Thor and Loki arrive, I have already heated their rolls up and put the kettle on. It’s nice to have company again. Between the Avengers tower and being with Victor, I’m realising I don’t spend too much time actually alone. Maybe I should use this time to meditate like Dr. B always suggests.

“Give us the tour Lady Creed!” Thor shouts between bites of a cinnamon roll. 

“Lady Creed?” I raise an eyebrow at him.

“Is that not an appropriate title for you?” Loki questions. 

I shrug and take them upstairs to the living room. I point out some of the more interesting, but not ultra-rare things that Victor owns. I can understand why he gets touchy about people being in the house and seeing his older belongings. He hates having people touch his family heirlooms or war memorabilia. 

“I believe we are ready to see your powers,” Loki leans towards a painting. “How does it work?”

“Hold on,” I say, searching for the special neural connectors Dad built me. I hand one to each of them.

With the metal headpieces in place, I motion for Thor and Loki to take a seat in the living room. Once they were sat down, I pulled out one of the last pieces I ever rehomed. It was an abstract painting from the 50s that was to be auctioned by a local mafia boss who was raising funds to buy politicians in the next election. It may not have saved the city, but at the time I was desperate to be a true Avenger and to feel like I was a part of the family. 

“So, it might not look like I’m doing anything, but what will happen is I will project the vision I get through the headpieces. You may feel a bit woozy depending on the state of the artist when the painting was being completed. They all seemed to have a drug or alcohol problem.”

Both of them nod, so I begin the projection. I focus on my favorite section of the painting. It was also a favorite of the artists, so it should start them off easy. As I move my gaze around the painting, feelings of loss, death, tragedy, but also hope and second chance arise. As if we are looking at the artist while they work, I can see her frustration, tears, and acceptance of the piece. 

I take a slow deep breath in and end the vision. I feel the tears on my face when I turn to Thor and Loki.

“I am utterly speechless.”

“That must be a first for you Loki,” I give a weak laugh.

“You truly have a beautiful gift Lady Creed. Thank you for sharing this with us.” Thor’s voice is soft when he finally speaks. 

“Come on, I’ve got some happier ones I can show you”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Saturday 15:48_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

Basically @GodOfThunder all afternoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Saturday 16:05_ **

**I’m Candian** 🍁 @Wolverine

Best tracker in the world my ass. More like trying to get us killed.

|

**Winter Is Coming** @BuckyBarnes

@Wolverine pics or didn’t happen

|

**It’s A Crack Fic ⚔️** @Deadpool

@BuckyBarnes @Wolverine 

|

**Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@Wolverine as if any of us are really scared of getting shot anymore. 

|

**Winter Is Coming** @BuckyBarnes

@FuckingSabreTooth I’ve found you BD. 😱 #followmeback

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Saturday 17:06_ **

**Big Daddy-** I can completely believe that your hungover ass wouldn’t save me a cinnamon roll. 

**You-** loooolllllzzzzz

**You-** I did save you one, don’t worry. 

**Big Daddy-** Good. We are nearly done with the job. Will text again before I hit the road back. 

**You-** Sounds good. 

**You-** Be safe

**You-** Love you Victor

**Big Daddy-** I love you too baby girl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Sunday 18:32_ **

**It’s A Crack Fic ⚔️** @Deadpool

It’s just a flesh wound 

|

**My Spidey Senses!** @Spiderman

@Deadpool POOL. PLS. BB. YOU PROMISED.

|

**My Spidey Senses!** @Spiderman

@Deadpool also how are you tweeting? 👀

|

**I’m Candian** 🍁 @Wolverine

Another good suit ruined by @Deadpool

|

**My Spidey Senses!** @Spiderman

@Wolverine @Deadpool I’m sorry Mr. Wolverine. He will buy you a new one. 

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Sunday 18:36_ **

**Big Daddy-** I hate Wade. I’m on my way home.

**You-** You know my brother is in love with him right?

**Big Daddy-** Unfortunately I am more aware than I have ever wanted to be. 

**You-** Stop texting and driving. 

**Big Daddy-** I do what I want, frail. 

**You-** I will go vegan. 

**Big Daddy-** you wouldn’t

**You-** trying me bitch 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Monday 00:58_ **

**Arrow Guy** @Hawkeye

Calling it now, @ArtHistoryIsCool is gonna get written out of the will tonight. 

|

**Winter Is Coming** @BuckyBarnes

@Hawkeye most definitely

|

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

Fuck you both, I made it just in time. @BuckyBarnes @Hawkeye

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Too Damn Late on a Sunday/Monday ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The blinding light of the SI laptop made my eyes burn a bit, but it was worth it. Everyone was here. Peter was still in his university dorm room, Dad and Pops were at the LA base, Auntie Nat, Bucky, and Clint at the compound, and Bruce was in New York. Even Thor and Loki joined in, also looking just as disheveled and pajama-ed as me. 

“The only rule for this quiz is no cheating. We are looking for honest fun here guys.” Pop says holding up a stack of papers.

“Are teams allowed?” Bucky asks.

“Yeah!” Thor demands. 

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” Tony waves his hand, “Now to the juicy bits, I believe my one and only true daughter has someone she’d like to introduce us to.”

As if being summoned, Victor stomps into the house. Everyone stares at me with such an intensity that I’m grateful for the lockdown to keep us all apart. 

“Frail, why do you smell anxious? Why are you awake?” He shouts, scent checking the house.

“I’m in the library!” You call out. “I’m also on a video call.”

“Who the fuck are you talking to at this hour? You should be in bed.” I can hear him climbing the stairs.

“We are a globally separated family, fam. This was the scheduled quiz time.”

“I’m gonna take a quick shower, I can still smell the runt on me.” He walks past the room with a brief wave in and then heads up the last flight of stairs to the bedroom.

“How come we didn’t get to see this library?” Loki demands.

“Because this room is off-limits to guests,” I explain. Victor keeps his personal diaries and books here. They aren’t for the public's eyes. 

“Who is the runt?” Peter asks.

“His brother, he is an ass hat.”

“LANGUAGE.” Everyone shouts at you. 

Suddenly a new screen appears at the bottom of the gallery of faces. 

_ Deadpool has joined the call.  _

“Please don’t write me out of the will IronDude. Logan wouldn’t let me use my cellphone until we were at cruising altitude.” Wade immediately begs, his masked face far too close to the screen. 

“Wade!” Peter squeals.

“Hey, baby boy!” He waves a small stump at the screen.

“Hey Logan, hope everything, beyond Wade's lack of hands, went all right?” Clint asks.

There is a grumbling off-camera and Wade has turned his head to listen to him. 

“He is still grumpy from being shot 15 times, but otherwise fine.” Wade wistfully sighs.

“Do you want anything from the kitchen baby?” Victor shouts, bounding down the stairs. 

“Hot chocolate,” I smile and turn towards the door. He is wearing the soft pajama bottoms I got him at Christmas. 

“COME BACK STRANGE MAN!” Tony yells, but I can hear Victor laughing from the hall. 

“Why do I know that voice…” Wade mumbles, mostly to himself.

“Are we gonna quiz or not?” Auntie Nat interjects.

“Yes,” I answer, maybe a bit too quickly. 

“Yes, get your paper and PENS” Steve throws an accusatory glance at Bucky, Loki, and Peter. 

When Victor returns upstairs, I am fully engrossed in the quiz and don’t hear him enter the dimly lit library.

“What are two rights in the Declaration of Independence?” Steve asks.

“Easy!” Bucky shouts.

“Speak for yourself Jon Snow,” Loki scoffs.

“I’m technically Canadian and I know the answer to that,” Victor says, sitting down next to you on the couch, careful to be out of view. He has the cinnamon roll with him and my mug of hot chocolate. I accept it gratefully and lean over to rub your face on his shoulder. Even if I can’t scent mark him the way he does me, he appreciates when I try. 

“I know that voice,” Wade says again. 

“These are not the droids you are looking for.” I wave my notepad in front of the screen. “Next question.”

“This is a damn fine cinnamon roll,” Victor muses after a few more questions. 

“Thank you,” Pops nods at the screen, a bit annoyed by the curse word

“Future sister-in-law, is that who I think it is?” Wade suddenly gasps.

“Who the fuck do you think it is Wade?” Victor grins, still off-camera.

Bucky, Nat, Thor, and Loki both stare intently at me, waiting for something to happen. Everyone else is staring at Wade, waiting for an answer.

“Sabey-baby?” He squeals a bit.

Victor slides a thumbs up across the screen. Revealing his clawed finger to everyone. 

“What the fuck is Victor doing on your family quiz Wade?” Logan shouts off-screen. 

“I’m more family than you are runt.” Victor sniggers and so do I.

“I’m sorry.” Tony says, “Sabey-baby? As in Victor Creed aka Sabretooth.” His face is extremely close and pinched with anger. 

“Who is Victor Creed?” Steve asks, clearly speaking to anyone not still in shock.

At that moment everyone starts speaking. I can’t understand a thing being said and it’s all become too much to handle. I reach over to the coffee table and mute the microphone. 

“This is not how I imagined introducing you to the Avengers you know.” I frown up at him. 

“Well, I expected you to follow government guidelines staying home baby girl. Consider this chaos my revenge.”

I unmute the laptop.

“I will accept questions one at a time.” I glare at the screen.

“How long have you been dating?” Peter immediately demands.

“Almost two years now.” 

“Who knew before you told us?” Clint asks.

“Auntie Nat, Buck, Thor and Loki. In that order.”

“Two things- 1. Bucky you are out of the will. 2. How did you even meet him? He is a villain!” Dad is still glaring at the screen.

“Ah, come on Stark?” Bucky whines.

“Do you remember how for a long time there were consistent reports of an art thief stealing works from bad guys?” I ask, careful to emphasize the words ‘bad guys'.

“Yes... “ Pops leans forward. 

“I met Victor while trying to steal art from his New York safe house.” I take a long drink from my mug. 

Another explosion of people talking at once. I just stare at the screen, unable to make sense of what is happening. When things start to quiet down, Wade pops in.

“Logan wants to know if you know how old Victor is?”

“Yes, Logan, I know _everything_ about Victor’s life.”

“How old is he?” Bruce asks.

I look over at Victor who is doing math on his hands.

“198,” my voice squeaks. 

“Jesus Christ he is older than you, Steve,” Dad clutches at the reactor in his chest.

“He doesn’t look a day over… 35,” I suggest.

I get a couple of bug-eyed stares with shaking heads as Pops audible chokes.

“Young lady,” Dad starts.

“Look, Dad, I was 18 when we met, and at this point, you’d have to kill me to keep me away from him. So your options are disowning me, or accepting Victor.”

Logan is suddenly taking over Wade's phone.

“What do you mean, we’d have to kill you?” He growls.

I look over to Victor and he nods. I pull the collar of my shirt to the side and reveal the slightly raised bumps of his claim bite.

“Ain’t no back out after a bond bite like that is there Runt?” Victor is trying not to laugh I can tell. I should be annoyed or upset with him, but mostly I just feel relieved to not have to keep him a secret anymore. 

“What the fuck is Bond Bite?” Tony demands, “Did he force you to do this?”

“It’s basically the Feral way of forming a permanent connection. You only get one, Dad. It's like marriage, but without the tax break.”

There is a collective gasp. Peter breaks the silence.

“That’s so romantic.” He cries.

“Can we get back to the quiz now?” Auntie Nat tries to sound cheerful but it's obviously put on. 

“We are not through speaking about this.” Dad points at the screen. 

“Okay, then…” Pops runs his hand through hair. “Finish this lyric…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Monday 11:00_ **

_ Text from “Superfamily" _

**Pops-** I’d like to have a family meeting when you are next free.

**Dad-** You are free now. I can see you.

**PeteyPie-** I can’t see you?? 

**You-** It’s not a family meeting if I’m gonna be yelled at the whole time. 

**You-** Dad stop being weird I can see you hovering around the garden fence. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Monday 14:03_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

I thought today was going to be tough, but I didn’t think @TonyStark and @FuckingSabreTooth would get in a who’s richer contest. Literally the both of them. 

|

**Winter Is Coming** @BuckyBarnes

@ArtHistoryIsCool well. Who is richer? I’m looking for a new will to be in. 

|

**Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@BuckyBarnes @ArtHistoryIsCool it’s me.

|

**It’s A Crack Fic ⚔️** @Deadpool

@FuckingSabreTooth when I asked you for money over the weekend you said you were broke.

|

**Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@Deadpool I wasn’t going to give you money to waste on a claw machine. 

**Auntie Nat** @TheBlackWidow

Lmao my girl knows how to pick em

> **Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth
> 
> @BuckyBarnes @ArtHistoryIsCool it’s me.

|

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool

You know it @TheBlackWidow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Дочь = daughter in Russian
> 
> Thanks to google translate 
> 
> Referenced Painting - https://www.sothebys.com/en/buy/auction/2020/the-ginny-williams-collection-evening-sale/lee-krasner-re-echo


	3. Working Out and Bucky's Shit Stirring

**_Wednesday 09:22_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

It’s day 385 of Lockdown, and my jeans no longer fit.

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

It’s me_irl

|

**My Spidey Senses!** @Spiderman

@ArtHistoryIsCool freshman 15 more like quarantine 15 am I right? 

|

**Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@ArtHistoryIsCool it’s been 36 days and you haven’t worn jeans in 54. 

|

**Steve Rogers-Stark** @CaptainAmerica

@ArtHistoryIsCool physical fitness is important. Please make sure you are going outside at least once a day.

|

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

@CaptainAmerica we can’t all be super serum soldiers Pops

|

**Winter Is Coming** @BuckyBarnes

Yes, we can @ArtHistoryIsCool @CaptainAmerica

|

**Auntie Nat** @TheBlackWidow

I didn’t spend your youth training you to be an assassin for you to go soft @ArtHistoryIsCool

|

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool

This is workplace harassment. 

**_Wednesday 13:42_ **

**Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

Time whip my baby girl into top mutant shape 💪

|

**King of Jotunheim** @IAmLoki

@FuckingSabreTooth @GodOfThunder and I just happen to be going to the exact same park 😈

|

**Thor** ⚡ @GodOfThunder

@IAmLoki @FuckingSabreTooth I also enjoy training my muscles.

|

**King of Jotunheim** @IAmLoki

@GodOfThunder I just watched you eat a whole box of pop-tarts

**_Wednesday 15:12_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

mood

**Thor** ⚡ @GodOfThunder

An excellent training session today with @FuckingSabreTooth !

**King of Jotunheim** @IAmLoki

There is a reason I use magic

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool

@DrBruceBanner @FuckingSabreTooth 

Same energy 

|

**King of Jotunheim** @IAmLoki

@ArtHistoryIsCool preach it sister

|

**Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@IAmLoki I thought you were supposed to be a god

|

**King of Jotunheim** @IAmLoki

@FuckingSabreTooth I’m also a King so fuck you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Wednesday Afternoon~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Carry me, daddy, I can’t move,” I whined from the bottom of the stoop that led into the house.

“Frail, don’t be sad,” Victor smirked at me.

I continued to pout. Everything hurt. I was never going to try and keep with a feral and two gods ever again. I’d never sweat so much in my entire life. My workout clothes clung my skin, while Victor looked like he’d gone for a light jog.

“Victor please,” I gave him my patented puppy dog eyes, the eyes that got me out of all kinds of trouble.

He sighed as if it was actually a chore to lift me before he scooped me off the pavement one-handed. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his torso. My head rested against his shoulder while he unlocked the door.

Victor bypassed the living room and took the stairs two at a time all the way up to the bedroom. Still, he wasn’t winded. Maybe I was just that unfit. He turned on the bath in en-suite and settled me on the edge of the counter. He tenderly kissed my forehead and started to undress me. With each new area of skin revealed, he kissed me. Every muscle and freckle was touched by his warm lips. The level of intimacy and vulnerability he shared with me brought tears to my eyes.

“Are you okay, baby girl? You didn’t actually hurt yourself working out?”

“No, I just love you a lot, Daddy. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” I let the tears slip-free.

“I love you too,” he pressed his forehead to mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Wednesday 17:52_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool

@me when women approach my boyfriend while we are trying to pick up dinner

|

**Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@ArtHistoryIsCool this why I love you lol

|

**My Spidey Senses!** @Spiderman

@FuckingSabreTooth and @ArtHistoryIsCool sitting in a tree…

|

**It’s A Crack Fic ⚔️** @Deadpool

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

> **My Spidey Senses!** @Spiderman
> 
> @FuckingSabreTooth and @ArtHistoryIsCool sitting in a tree…

|

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool

@Deadpool we do more than that 

|

**Arrow Guy** @Hawkeye

Me @ this 

**Winter Is Coming** @BuckyBarnes

@ArtHistoryIsCool I’m showing this to @CaptainAmerica and @TonyStark

|

**Iron Dad** @TonyStark

@ArtHistoryIsCool you’re grounded

|

**Steve Rogers-Stark** @CaptainAmerica

@TonyStark @ArtHistoryIsCool FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Wednesday 18:48_ **

You have been added to “Dangerous Dating” by PeteyPie

You- Pete why did you start a group that is just the two of us?

PeteyPie- so we could have a safe space to moan about our mercenaries. 

You- fair enough

You- we could add Auntie Nat ya know cause Bruce is like ultimate danger. 

PeteyPie - no thanks

PeteyPie- sooooooo………

You- Petey, what’s your question?

PeteyPie- questionSSSSSS

PeteyPie- What’s with the claws?

You- it’s just his mutation. 

PeteyPie- but like… 👉👌

You- When he doesn’t have a job, he files down the important one 😉

PeteyPie- Okay, but like does he have a tail?

You- ew no.

You- how does Wade get gunpowder out of shirts? 

PeteyPie- no clue

You- you’re useless to me then. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Thursday 10:11_ **

**Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

Where can I buy a bulk supply of those stupid baby cups?

|

**Winter Is Coming** @BuckyBarnes

@FuckingSabreTooth FOLLOW ME BACK BD

|

**Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@BuckyBarnes why the fuck do you keep calling me BD?

|

**Winter Is Coming** @BuckyBarnes

@FuckingSabreTooth I’ve seen what @ArtHistoryIsCool calls you dude. #FollowMeBack

**It’s A Crack Fic ⚔️** @Deadpool

@FuckingSabreTooth 

|

**Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@Deadpool I’m apparently living with a child who isn’t responsible enough for glass cups 

|

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool

@FuckingSabreTooth It's less than one a week. You should be proud of me.

|

**Iron Dad** @TonyStark

@FuckingSabreTooth Just get her something like this. It’s what we did.

**Iron Dad** @TonyStark

Wait. What the fuck does she call you? WHAT IS BD? @FuckingSabreTooth

> **Winter Is Coming** @BuckyBarnes
> 
> @FuckingSabreTooth I’ve seen what @ArtHistoryIsCool calls you dude. #FollowMeBack

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Thursday 12:30_ **

Text from “Now You Know”

**You-** Do you have a death wish Bucky?

**Bucking Broncos-** I most certainly don’t know what you mean :D

**Lo-key Frost Boy-** I look forward to another Stark v Creed shouting match 😂

**Thor Oakenhammer-** Do you think the neighbors will call the police this time?

**Bucking Broncos-** Lol wut

**You-** All of you are dead to me

**You-** If you try and kink shame again on twitter I will let Victor kill you Bucky.

**Bucking Broncos-** So telling this to stevie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We’re killing Bucky.” I seeth, ignoring another video call from Dad and Pops.

“Sounds good to me baby girl,” Victor grinned and looked up from his book.

“Have you looked at Twitter in the last like hour?” I asked.

“No, I have a life beyond my phone.”

“Just maybe don’t wear a nice shirt for the rest of the week okay?”


	4. Binging and Mustaches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a reference to Roadhouse and I use a gif of Patrick Swayze ripping out some's throat. Just to warn you if you don't like that kind of stuff. It's after the Nick Cage and Billy Murray gifs.

**_Tuesday 14:03_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

Someone kidnap me please. I’m dying of boredom and need to spice up my life. 

|

 **Steve Rogers-Stark** @CaptainAmerica

@ArtHistoryIsCool No.

|

 **Iron Dad** @TonyStark

@CaptainAmerica @ArtHistoryIsCool double no you’re grounded.

|

 **King of Jotunheim** @IAmLoki

@ArtHistoryIsCool taking you back to my lair. 

|

 **Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@ArtHistoryIsCool I haven’t even been gone a whole day yet frail. 

|

 **I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

@FuckingSabreTooth Don’t you dare try and use Princess Tiana against me. 

|

 **Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@ArtHistoryIsCool 

|

 **I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

@FuckingSabreTooth GASP

  
  


**I’m Candian** 🍁 @Wolverine

What the fuck did I just witness @FuckingSabreTooth

|

 **Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@Wolverine me winning an argument 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Tuesday 19:48_ **

**King of Jotunheim** @IAmLoki

Someone settle an argument for me, please.

What is the best song to get people dancing?

|

 **I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

@IAmLoki you’re just upset cause I’m right. 

|

 **Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@ArtHistoryIsCool @IAmLoki stop starting fights on the internet you can’t win.

|

 **I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

@FuckingSabreTooth @IAmLoki You don’t even know what song I picked. 

|

 **Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@ArtHistoryIsCool @IAmLoki Single Ladies will not get everyone dancing.

|

 **Arrow Guy** @Hawkeye

@ArtHistoryIsCool @IAmLoki obvy it’s Yeah by Usher

|

 **My Spidey Senses!** @Spiderman

@ArtHistoryIsCool @IAmLoki Hot in Herre

|

 **It’s A Crack Fic ⚔️** @Deadpool

@ArtHistoryIsCool @IAmLoki You’re all wrong. It’s Love Shack

|

 **Auntie Nat** @TheBlackWidow

@ArtHistoryIsCool @IAmLoki it’s Juice by Lizzo

|

 **Iron Dad** @TonyStark

@ArtHistoryIsCool @IAmLoki I raised you better. It’s Cherry Pie

|

 **Steve Rogers-Stark** @CaptainAmerica

@ArtHistoryIsCool @IAmLoki I remember One O’Clock Jump by Count Basie always being a hit in dance halls

|

 **Winter Is Coming** @BuckyBarnes

@CaptainAmerica Like you ever got a dame to dance with you punk

|

 **Winter Is Coming** @BuckyBarnes

@ArtHistoryIsCool @IAmLoki Drop It Like It’s Hot always gets me twerking

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tuesday Night ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Loki, my eyes, they burn, please stab me,” I begged. 

“Oh no, you are going to suffer through this travesty that is James Buchanan Barnes with me,” he groaned and threw his phone down on the coffee table. 

“For a man who was brainwashed and frozen on and off for 70 years, he is too into pop culture.” 

“It’s your fathers’ fault. They allow him on the internet.”

“Isn’t the internet like a basic human right now?”

“Do I look like I care about human rights?” Loki rolls his eyes at me.

I throw my phone down next to his and lean back against his couch. Loki and Thor’s flat is nice. It's obvious that whatever Erik had left behind here, Loki had stowed away in one of his pocket dimensions. The opulent curtains and gilded framed art decorating the wall screamed Princes of Asgard. I stare at one of the pieces of art, letting the vision of the artist's careful, but diligent hand glide across the illustrated manuscript. He seemed pleased. That brings a smile to my face as well. 

“How’s Darcy?” I ask.

“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” Loki gives me a look like I’m some dumb mortal.

“Is she fucking here?” I shout.

“Obviously,” Loki snorts.

“Imma throw hands, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me she was here. What the fuck dude?”

“Creed made it clear you should NOT be brought into contact with people who could be carrying the virus. And Darcy is very anxious about catching it as well. So I saw no point in telling you until she had been here for two weeks.”

“DARCY,” I shoot up off the couch, “DARCY YOU BEAUTIFUL FUCKING CINNAMON ROLL!”

“You don’t need to yell, she’s been glued to her computer all day playing some game.”

I run around the house, flinging open doors in search of my favorite little human. I say little, but we are like the same size. I’ve been spending a lot of time around giants lately and their attitude to regular old humans is rubbing off on me I think. 

When I find her lounging on a green duvet that is obviously Loki’s room, I pounce on her. She’s screaming and I’m screaming and then we are hugging. I haven’t had female contact in too long. I could almost cry that she’s here.

“WHY HAVEN’T YOU TEXTED ME?” Darcy screams at me. 

“New phone who dis?” I shrug because I got a new sim when we got to London and I couldn’t remember her number. 

“You dumb bitch,” she laughs.

“Well I’m here now hobag, why aren’t you on twitter?” I shoot back.

“Because reality is a toxic hell hole.”

“Is that why you have been playing Sims 4 all day?” I tease, giggling with joy.

I lay in bed with Darcy, watching her play god in this virtual world. I convince her to fill a room in her house with art and no doors to drive characters crazy for fun. We laugh every time one of the characters accidentally sets themselves on fire. 

“Creedling, your phone is summoning you,” Loki tosses my device on the bed, clearly annoyed that I am now monopolizing his bed and partner. 

“Lolz, Creedling,” Darcy snorts.

“Hey, if I could think of a mean nickname for you right now I would, but I can’t,” I say picking up my phone. “Ah, speak of the devil. I’ve got to go, it’s way past curfew as it is.”

“You have a curfew?” Darcy smirks at me.

“Yes, bitch I do.” I roll off the bed and head to the door. 

I put on my sneakers and grab my bag. I hug Loki and Darcy goodbye before I leave to walk home. It’s dark and empty out on the pavement. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Tuesday 23:30_ **

**You-** I’m on my way home now. It’s like super dead outside

 **Big Daddy-** You do know how late it is and understand there is fucking plague happening right? 

**You-** Well duh, but like there aren’t even chavs out and about 

**Big Daddy-** Did you have a good time at least? 

**You-** yeppo, got to hang with Darcy which was nice. I need more lady friends. There's too much dick in my life.

 **Big Daddy-** that’s not what you were saying last night

**You-** Ugh you know I have a weakness for mustaches

 **Big Daddy-** If you’re good there may be one when I get home.

 **You-** literally just screamed into the night sky

**Big Daddy-** Getting an asbo is not a good thing little one. 

**You-** It’s fine I’m home now. Gonna shower then go to bed. Love you 💖💖💖

 **Big Daddy-** love you too

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Wednesday 08:26_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

ITS HAPPENING

|

 **It’s A Crack Fic ⚔️** @Deadpool

@ArtHistoryIsCool what’s happening?

|

 **I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

@Deadpool DISNEY PLUS IN THE UK

|

 **My Spidey Senses!** @Spiderman

@ArtHistoryIsCool That’s been a thing for months.

|

 **I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

@Spiderman not here it hasn’t

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

If you don’t hear from again, it’s because I’ve started the greatest binge in all of history. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Wednesday 10:52_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

|

**Winter Is Coming** @BuckyBarnes

@ArtHistoryIsCool is that where that from... a bit creepy tbh

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Wednesday 13:04_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

I’m not crying, you’re crying

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Wednesday 15:12_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

|

**Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@ArtHistoryIsCool basically our everyday life

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Wednesday 17:37_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Wednesday 19:59_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Wednesday 21:42_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

I have regrets

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Wednesday 23:58_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

Only slightly better now

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Thursday 02:14_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Thursday 04:35_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

I’m crying all over again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Thursday 06:13_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Thursday 08:25_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Thursday 10:32_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

You’re telling me they made more of this hot garbage?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Thursday 12:42_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Thursday 14:58_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

how I feel about this whole franchise

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Thursday 17:06_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

|

 **Iron Dad** @TonyStark

@ArtHistoryIsCool Okay, putting my foot down on this madness.

|

 **Steve Rogers-Stark** @CaptainAmerica

@TonyStark @ArtHistoryIsCool She gets this from you ya know. 

|

 **Iron Dad** @TonyStark

@CaptainAmerica Excuse you, I have great taste

|

 **Steve Rogers-Stark** @CaptainAmerica

@TonyStark you made @BuckyBarnes and I watch Roadhouse just because you wanted to know if we could do the thing. 

|

 **Iron Dad** @TonyStark

@CaptainAmerica and now @BuckyBarnes threaten to rip out people’s throats in a Patrick Swayze accent. 

| 

**Winter Is Coming** @BuckyBarnes

@TonyStark @CaptainAmerica it me_irl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Thursday 19:11_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Thursday 20:52_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

Higitus Figitus migitus mum pres-ti-dig-i-ton-i-um!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Thursday 23:07_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Friday 07:48_ **

Text from “Super Family”

Pops- Are you okay?

Dad- I can’t believe you don’t like Star Wars

Dad- I should disown you for that

PeteyPie- At least she doesn’t like the prequels

Pops- I don’t see the point in all the star trek stuff either

Dad- DIVORCE

PeteyPie- OMG

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Friday 08:12_ **

**Steve Rogers-Stark** @CaptainAmerica

@TonyStark Stop throwing my clothes off the balcony. It’s bad for the environment.

|

 **Iron Dad** @TonyStark

@CaptainAmerica take it back

|

 **Steve Rogers-Stark** @CaptainAmerica

@TonyStark fine, your star wars and star treks are perfectly acceptable programs. Are you happy now?

|

 **Iron Dad** @TonyStark

@CaptainAmerica apology accepted I was only throwing them at Mark XLVI anyway. Your old man clothes are perfectly fine.

**Arrow Guy** @Hawkeye

@TonyStark @CaptainAmerica Dads stop fighting it’s upsetting the young ones

|

 **My Spidey Senses!** @Spiderman

@TonyStark @CaptainAmerica no keep fighting, I want two Christmases

|

 **Iron Dad** @TonyStark

@Spiderman that’s not how that works.

|

 **Iron Dad** @TonyStark

@Spiderman also everyone knows I own America’s Ass™ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Friday 11:42_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

I have risen

|

 **Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@ArtHistoryIsCool frail I swear to god

|

 **King of Jotunheim** @IAmLoki

@FuckingSabreTooth which god

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

Breakfast time

**I’m Candian** 🍁 @Wolverine

Why do I have to keep agreeing to jobs with @Deadpool and @FuckingSabreTooth

|

 **It’s A Crack Fic ⚔️** @Deadpool

@Wolverine because it is a fun family bonding experience

|

 **Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@Wolverine as if you are fucking bucket of joy to work with runt

|

 **I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

@Wolverine Stop taking my man away from me then if you’re just gonna moan 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Saturday 07:00_ **

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

This is the greatest day of my life @FuckingSabreTooth

|

 **King of Jotunheim** @IAmLoki

@ArtHistoryIsCool really all it takes is a man wearing a suit?

|

 **It’s A Crack Fic ⚔️** @Deadpool

@ArtHistoryIsCool how is the greatest day of your life? 

|

 **My Spidey Senses!** @Spiderman

@ArtHistoryIsCool oh god 💅💅💅

**I’m Not a Real Super** @ArtHistoryIsCool 

@FuckingSabreTooth this you tomorrow

|

 **Sabey-Baby** @FuckingSabreTooth

@ArtHistoryIsCool 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know what happened here.

**Author's Note:**

> All hail Liev Schreiber as Sabretooth


End file.
